DETROIT, MI – The Red Wings have made the biggest international free agent acquisition in NHL history. They have reached…
Single Unemployed White Guy Finds True Love in Korea
In his hometown of Sarnia, Ontario, 30 year old Lucas Elliot was single, unemployed and living with his mother. The…
Venezuela’s Central Bank hopes Elon Musk can send Bolivar to the Moon
Venezeula’s central bank is seeking the help of Elon Musk and Reddit to pump the value of its national currency,…
Police find 17 Aliens in a Car and Set Them Free
NOGALES, AZ – The Arizona Department of Public Safety is warning residents of Maricopa County to look out for aliens…
Toronto Police to issue tickets for distracted walking
TORONTO, ON – In an effort to reduce traffic collisions, police will soon start ticketing any pedestrians seen texting and…
IOC Vice President Dick Pound offered role in porn
While news on the upcoming Tokyo 2021 Olympics has been quiet, The Wet Beaver has learned that porn production company…
National Small Penis Association under fire for denying membership to black man
Chicago native George Johnson has a small penis and he is angry. He exclusively uses private stalls in public washrooms…
Bitcoin Price Surges as millions of Americans keep money in cold wallets during winter storm
The winter storm that left millions of Americans without power has caused the price of Bitcoin to soar now that…
Flat Earth theorists plan to rescue penguins from falling off the edge of the world
A group of flat earth theorists have announced a massive multi-billion dollar operation to send hundreds of volunteers to the…
5G may be the culprit after all
The Chief Medical Officer of Big Wood County, Dr. Ted Seuss, is calling for the destruction of all 5G network…
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